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ANALYSIS: ‘It’s important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts‘
A pair of academics from Deakin University in Australia say parents should seek consent from their little ones before — wait for it — changing their diapers.
Writing in the notorious The Conversation, Katherine Bussey (“she/her” pronouns) and Nicole Downes say “parents should not wait until kids are teenagers to talk about appropriate touching or how everyone has the right to say what happens to their body.”
Of course, babies don’t talk … but no big deal, according to the Down Under researchers:
“At the start of a nappy [diaper] change, ensure your child knows what is happening. Get down to their level and say, ‘you need a nappy change’ and then pause so they can take this in. Then you can say, ‘do you want to walk/crawl with me to the change table, or would you like me to carry you?’”
Bussey and Downes note parents should “observe [babies’] facial expressions and body language to check if they understand what is happening.”
And don’t let little ones’ attention wander, don’t sing to them, nor give them something to play with — because “it’s important children notice when someone is touching their most intimate parts.”
Also, moms and dads should be sure to use correct terminology when cleaning up baby’s dump — say “vulva, penis, anus,” etc. as this “keeps children safe” and “means they can then inform trusted adults about their experiences with all the people who care for them.”
“These habits plant the seed of the idea that a child has the right to say what happens to their body,” say Bussey and Downes.
The pair’s article links to a 2020 post from an Australian early childhood blog which says “Reconceptualising nappy changes and toileting key times for learning requires educators to facilitate opportunities for children to be actively involved.”
The post also features a graphic noting that asking an infant for a diaper change “support[s] consent & body autonomy.”
The New York Post asked a pair of Big Apple-based specialists about the topic, and they said such baby, er, discussions are “symbolic,” not “literal.”
“Babies cannot verbally agree or disagree, but parents can still narrate what they are doing,” said psychotherapist Lesley Koeppel. “This builds a foundation for bodily autonomy long before a child has language.”
Child psychologist Yamalis Diaz added “involving” babies in the changing of diapers “is great practice for future discussions about body autonomy” (emphasis added).
According to her faculty page, Bussey is an “infant and toddler specialist and Pikler Pedagogue,” the latter coming from the non-profit Pikler/Lóczy USA, named after Hungarian pediatrician Emmi Pikler (whose institute worked “to preserve the competence, autonomy and integrity of the young child, ages 0 to six years”).
Bussey also is board chair of the Infant and Toddler Advocacy Network Australia.
Downes is course director of Deakin’s Graduate Certificate of Education: Trauma Responsive Education and “actively advocates for Children’s rights both in the university and the wider community.”
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