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Campus Bans All Tobacco – Even The Smoke-Free Kind, Even Chew!

Better not get caught smoking a cigarette at Ball State University. The public college in Indiana is going to put the smack down on your (cigarette) butt.

A new policy launched this month fines campus smokers $100 bucks per violation. Employees, thanks to their union, only get fined $75 per violation, according to the policy.

Wait, it gets worse. The policy bans all tobacco outright on the entire campus, saying “tobacco includes but (is) not limited to cigarettes, cigars, pipes, water pipes (hookah), bidis, kreteks, electronic cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, snuff, chewing tobacco and any non-FDA approved nicotine delivery device.”

So the poor student trying to kick his habit with a smokeless e-cig, the student who likes to indulge in chewing tobacco in the privacy of his own mouth – sorry, out of luck. They either hide it well, or pay the consequences.

You see, Ball State University knows what’s best. They are only looking out for the interests of these shameful tobacco users and their more enlightened tobacco-free peers, saying they aim to promote “a campus culture of wellness.”

Wellness, you say? What are cigarette smokers – those scourges of society, those air-poisoning vipers – expected to do when they need a nicotine fix? Here’s Ball State’s advice:

University regulated parking areas are included in the ban. Tobacco use in enclosed personal vehicles will be permitted as long as users contain smoke and tobacco products inside the vehicle (e.g. windows must be closed). Failure to do so is a violation of this policy.

Drown in your own smoke, smokers!

Move over Nanny State, hello Nanny Campus. Fines collected will be used in part to re-educate students with anti-tobacco campaigns, campus officials say.

Oh, wait! We forgot to mention one minor proviso. The Football Clause, of course.

“Tobacco use,” states the policy, “will be permitted in the tailgating areas on home football game days only; otherwise the area is to be tobacco free.”

Because the only thing that trumps students’ health, is college football.

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IMAGE: Chris @ APL

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