The College Fix

After a bit of a hiatus, we are please to bring back the always popular “Dumbest Campus Moments of the Week” column here at the Fix.

It’s always hard to narrow down all the dumb stuff happening on our campuses to just a few stories each week.

You know that old potato chip commercial where they say, “Bettcha can’t eat just one?”

There’s a similar slogan we have here at The College Fix: “Betcha can’t pick just three.” Nevertheless, here are what we’ve determined are the most worthy stories to wear the title this week:

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3.) College Offers Religion Course on Harry Potter

“This course will allow students to develop an understanding of technological concepts such a God, sin, and theodicy or the problem of evil and also to study the literary epic genre through the lens of the Harry Potter series,” its description states. Right. Because nothings spells serious academic study like opening up a best-selling children’s book about a boy wizard in order to teach student’s about such concepts as “sin” and “God.”

The professor of this course says “the Bible is a complicated collection of documents that was never meant to ‘speak’ to our contemporary situation…” In that case, it’s a relief to know that Harry Potter is here to save us.

This course, offered by Centre College, sounds like a blast. Just reading a bunch of children’s books. Why even bother with the books? Didn’t they make Harry Potter movies? Wouldn’t that be even more entertaining for these students, whose parents have probably taken out second mortgages on their homes in order to send their kids to this over-priced school and to pay for this worthless class?

(Read the full story.)

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2.) Christian College Cancels Conservative Guest Speaker

Azusa Pacific University opened itself up to intense criticism this week when it canceled a talk by scholar Charles Murray of the conservative American Enterprise Institute. The president of APU explained that the talk was cancelled for the following reasons: “Given the lateness of the semester and the full record of Dr. Murray’s scholarship, I realized we needed more time to prepare for a visit and postponed Wednesday’s conversation.”

Sure it’s been planned for months now, but It’s just so late in the semester, understand?

No? Neither did we.

(Read the full story.)

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1.) Harvard Hosts LGBTQ-Themed Orgasm Tutorials: ‘Get Wet,’ Queer Sex Q&A

Yes, nothing says Harvard education like queer orgasm tutorials. It probably takes a whole group of elite scholars to do the difficult and complicated task of teaching students how to “get wet” and reach orgasm. It’s comforting to know that this is the university that the president of the United States attended for law school. Hopefully all of our future presidents will come from this school as well.

According to our report, Harvard students were treated to an orgasm seminar hosted by Ignacio Rivera, “a Two-Spirit, Black-Boricua Taíno, queer performance artist, activist, filmmaker, lecturer and sex educator who prefers the gender neutral pronoun ‘they.’ “

Well “they” may want to learn basic grammar before attempting to teach Harvard students. But, then again, with this kind of trash coming from the lectern, maybe academic standards at Harvard are beside the point.

The event was described on its official website as “people with vaginas learning about awesome things related to their vaginas.”

This story confirms our suspicion that Harvard is, in fact, being run by a bunch of seventh-grade pubescent boys.

(Read the full story.)

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Nathan Harden is editor of The College Fix and author of the book SEX & GOD AT YALE: Porn, Political Correctness, and a Good Education Gone Bad.

Follow Nathan on Twitter @NathanHarden

(Image: davecobb.Flickr)

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