The most memorable TV and movie teachers of all-time

It’s been a fairly trying last couple of weeks here at home and abroad, so I figured this weekend I’d lighten things up a bit on this sweltering mid-July morning.

Over a year ago I compiled a list of what I think are some of the best teacher movies ever made. Now, it’s time to examine some of the notable teachers and professors that popular entertainment has given us. This is not necessarily a “best” list as in these educators are in the “top of their craft,” but one that features those who have given us (well, me, in particular) some enduring memories.

Mr. Hand — “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” We’ve all had a teacher like him: the no-nonsense old school guy (or gal) who knew the material like the back of his, er, hand and would regularly belittle slackers like Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli. I had a teacher just like Hand in 8th grade — Dr. “Mac,” who was also our basketball coach. When I failed to properly execute a new play he had showed us on a Saturday morning(!) practice, he came over and grabbed my shirt yelling “HUBER! What the HELL are you doing??”

You certainly couldn’t be a Mr. Hand in today’s teaching world, or you’d be out on your butt in a matter of hours looking for a new job.

Hey bud, what’s your problem??

Mr. Kotter — “Welcome Back Kotter.” The hit 1970s show features Gabe Kaplan coming back to his alma mater to teach, in this case a group known as the “Sweathogs”: Epstein, Washington, Horshack, and John Travolta’s breakout character Barbarino. The series was mainly a venue for Kaplan to tell his don’t-hold-up-well-today jokes, but what teacher wouldn’t want Kotter’s class sizes, eh? The best supporting character by far was John Sylvester White’s crabby assistant principal Mr. Woodman.

What’s goin’ on heah, Kotteh??

Mr. Jurel — “Teachers.” This 1984 offering remains one of the best, if not the best, teacher movie ever, and Nick Nolte’s Alex Jurel is the main reason. Jurel is a history teacher, so you know he’s gotta be creative to get his students interested in the material. Not to mention, when things go awry in class — like when the heater in his room breaks down — he ditches the day’s lesson plan to offer a quick course in “radiator repair.” Just one criticism: I know Jurel wanted to do the right thing by helping out a girl in an impossible situation, but never, ever, give a student a ride to an abortion clinic without anyone being notified.

Coach Reeves — “The White Shadow.” This show, while not a big ratings hit (it lasted three seasons), was critically acclaimed and featured one of the first majority African-American casts on television. Ken Reeves stars as a (white) former NBA basketball player who takes a job teaching PE and coaching basketball at a tough inner city high school. You can’t get a much bigger multicultural cast than this: Aside from the featured (black) players Thorpe, Coolidge, and Hayward there was (Jewish) Goldstein, (Hispanic) Gomez, and (Italian) “Salami.” My favorite episode is when Reeves takes Thorpe, Coolidge, and Salami golfing at a charity event. Some of the lines are gut-bustingly funny, but I’d wager there’s no way in hell they would be said in a TV series today given our PC culture.

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Mr. Keating — “Dead Poets Society.” Robin Williams’ best role, his English teacher John Keating shakes up the stuffy Welton Academy boarding school by utilizing “unconventional” classroom methods. Who wouldn’t want a teacher like Keating, whether it be in a setting like Welton, a public school, or especially at college?

Mrs. Murdock — “Grease.” The shop teacher from Heaven, she helps the T-Birds spruce up Kenickie’s pathetically beat up automobile into “Greased Lightning.”

Jaime Escalante and Joe Clark — “Stand and Deliver” and “Lean On Me.” Classified together because they’re not really fictional — their stories may be dramatized, but they’re actual teachers. In the former’s case, he uses his shared Latino heritage to take a class of gifted Hispanic students from basic math all the way through calculus. This is actor Edward James Olmos’s best outing, in my view.

In the latter’s instance, Morgan Freeman is beyond outstanding as Clark, the teacher-turned-principal who’s been drafted by his district administration to turn around the disastrous Eastside High. Would that more schools had a man like Clark around; however, some of the events in the film — especially when Clark permanently dismisses from the school what looks to be over 100 perpetual troublemakers — would never be permitted in real life, even in an “emergency” situation.

Professor Barbay — “Back to School.” The smug business professor is taught a few things by business magnate and new college student Thornton Mellon (Rodney Dangerfield) in the 1986 comedy. Perhaps the best line is when Barbay tells the dean (“Dean Martin”) that he’s upset Mellon has been permitted to enroll at the expense of others’ hard work. To which Mellon responds that he’s been busy “busting his hump” in the real world while Barbay hangs out in his ivory tower — a tower which, if not for guys like Mellon who donate cash to universities, wouldn’t even exist.